National Infertility Support & Information Group

What happens when getting pregnant doesn't?

I thought that when I'd decided that the time was right for me to have a baby, that it would just happen. The baby thing. I still feel shocked, sometimes, when I realise that - almost six years down the line - 'the baby thing' still hasn't happened. When I realise that, maybe, it never will.

I'd always imagined that I'd be a mum. One day. I'd always imagined that my husband - the love of my life, my soul mate - and I would have kids together. One day. I do still hope that that day will come. But I'm also busy making plans and getting on with the rest of my life just in case it doesn't.

It can be a dark and lonely place, infertility. Full of raised - then
dashed - hopes. As longed-for pregnancies fail to go the distance. As fertility treatments are tried - 'just this one last go' - but don't
succeed. As friend after friend after friend calls to share their happy
news. And you feel as though your heart is breaking...

Knowing that you're not alone can be a lifeline, knowing that someone - somewhere - knows exactly what you're going through, knows exactly how you feel. And so I felt as though I'd struck gold when I heard about NISIG. I signed up immediately. I read my copies of the newsletter, avidly, greedily. There was always something - an article, a letter, a poem - to make me think
'Yes, I know exactly where you're coming from.'

And I hope that's how women will feel when they read my book. I hope that there's something in there that will strike a chord with them, that will resonate, that will help them to realise that there can still be a happy ending - even if 'the baby thing' never happens.

Unexplained infertility - involuntary childlessness - made me question everything; about myself and about my life. Who was I - what was I - if I was never going to become a mother? Sometimes I wish that I could look into a crystal ball, to see what the future holds for me. But I've taught myself to be excited about the future, anyway. Whatever it has in store.

Isla McGuckin's book 'Pink for a Girl' - her account of coming to terms with unexplained infertility - will be published by Hay House in May.

You can pre-order your copy from
You can also get in touch with Isla by email